A really good chat with Julianna....

My heart is aching at the moment, but I guess aching for a good reason!  I just got off the phone with my dear dear Julianna.  I miss her so much!  She was one of the people on my mission that a dear, kind, loving Heavenly Father knew I needed.  He knew that we would eternally impact each others lives.  I need to be better at speaking with her on a more regular basis but it was sooo good to hear her voice tonight!  I miss her dearly, and I know her life is so difficult but I admire her and am so proud of her!
   She told me tonight that she has started going back to church.  (After speaking with Elder Andros at the mission office, I learned that her church attendance is pretty sporadic)  but hey, at this point sporadic is a giant leap in the right direction!!!  She said it was time for her to go back, that she finds happiness and peace when she goes to church.  Hopefully she can come to understand how much her Heavenly Father adores and loves her and that he does have a plan for her life as well!
   I'm not going to lie... speaking with her opened a wound I'm not sure will ever heal completely!  I miss the mission, I miss the members, I miss the language, I miss the greeks, I miss the difficulty of the mission, I miss the food, I miss giving 100% of my time to the Lord.  I miss being so spiritually in tune and feeling the Lord so near so often.  I've said it before and truly believe that when I left Greece, I left a piece of my heart there.  I feel like whenever I go back, my heart is somehow whole again!
   Who knew, that after being home for nearly five years, I could still miss it so badly that my heart could physically hurt to be back there!?!?  You would have thought I could have moved on and left it all behind, but I guess I can't because I became a whole new person there.  I gave my whole heart and soul for those 18 months and I worked my butt off doing the best I could each day, and then I allowed the Savior to step in and make up the difference.  And I guess because I gave my whole heart and soul, a part of my heart and a part of my soul will remain with those dear people forever and ever.
   Julianna is striving to find a better life for herself.  She is trying to find a way to another country.  It sounds like England may be a good possibility for her or possibly even the states...  I just hope and pray that something can work in her favor so she might be able to move on and find hope for a better life!  I don't know why, but for whatever reason speaking with her tonight really pulled at my heartstrings.  I think maybe it was because she finally sounded somewhat hopeful again.  It was so good to hear that she is finding peace within the gospel and that the wonderful couples are making such a difference in her life! I'm so grateful to them and their service and their care and concern for someone whom I love so dearly...  =)
   It is well beyond the hour of which I should be sleeping, especially because I have to work in just a few short hours but I could not leave this entry for another day or time.  It had to be written now!  I had to express the way I feel while the emotions are raw.  All I know is that I need to find a way to get back there to let those dear people know how much I adore them and really truly won't ever be able to forget them!  Hopefully there will be a European Missionary Reunion next summer and I will totally be there...
    Here are a few photos to reminisce the good old mission days!!!  Because the post is all about Julianna I guess I'll just put some of her and I...   I'll have to post later so I can add more and give tribute to the people that changed my life so much!

   So although this last picture is not of Julianna, I had to add it to the post because it shows exactly how I felt five years ago, and how I still continue to feel now!  My heart aches to be with those dear people I grew to love in such a short period of time!  I have learned how not to cry everyday since getting home (in the beginning that was a very difficult task...) but my heart still aches and every once in a while, I break down and have a good cry!